http://kevan.org/johari?name=aquapoppie

I'm bored...

so much work >_<

Happy Valentine's Day!

After the last two weeks of dog bites, being squashed by a car, 4 midterms in one week, I think this week is the best week I have had since the beginning of the year. Yay!

I just don't know. I guess it was a test of mental strength. Because in psychology, the human mind is naturally conditioned to overcome trauma and depression. That is why people have optimism and hope in order to keep on living. I don't know if most people know that this is a survival mechanism, but yes, happiness is what keeps us alive and wanting to live. I think suicidal people just cannot generate enough optimism and cannot overcome their depression. It's reasonable, but either way, it shows that they were not patient enough wait for a better day, or just giving up on life. It's a mighty temptation, but it's a big gamble to take. Who knows what is after death? As curious as I am about that question, I'm not too eager to find out. Now that I have a second chance at life, I think I know what I want to do. If possible, I think I will go overseas (most preferrably Korea), especially since now that I know life is so short, I want to experience lots of things, totally different surroundings, and see how the rest of the world lives. I don't want to die knowing that I have not experienced all the opportunities available to me. I changed in that one moment, and I am just so grateful to be alive. Mmm, my head could have popped off and rolling down the street, or my leg could have been sliced off, but that didn't happen, so.... I guess that was too morbid. Eek, if it wasn't for leg though, my head would have been off. thank god for legs! they are awesome!

It's the stress talking... I have a midterm tomorrow! And everyday after that until friday!   But reading about experimental methods is sooooo boring.....

I see myself doing the exact same thing that I have criticized others about. I know I'm a hypocrite, I don't deny it. I will not do it. I will not. I will NOT. Then I become the type of person I pity the most.

Although the horror of yesterday will not fade for a while. Just wondering how this will change my life.

I almost died today.

I think I'm never going outside again.

So traumatized. I know what suffocation is like now.

And if anyone has crutches they don't need, for a person of 5'6"ish height, I am in need of one. thanks.

Silence is golden.

From what I learned about aethestics, the distance between the signifier and the signified grows as we become more and more blind to the unity, the universality of the world. This is the slightly nagging feeling of not knowing why your understanding of the world fails in delivering all the answers you want to have. Because we do not look at the nature of things to begin with. Ah, the philosophy of language. Jason Mraz has gotten in down in modern lingo. Beyond the names, the obvious, the physical, there is a space where one is defined by their identity, and not under the dictation of the world.

What am I saying? Maybe you'll know if you see any meaning in the words.

I think I'm burned out already. I am ready to drop everything and just sleep for like 2 months straight. Seasonal affective disorder? I dunno, but the weather sure doesn't help my mood, and neither does my schedule. I'm always scrambling to get my present and future together, and it is exhausting. I am tired of thinking of post-graduation plans, pre-graduation requirements, and etc. So tired...

Only thing keeping me sane and still slightly optimistic is Gilmore Girls. Thank god for this show; it really makes my day. What will I do when I finish all the seasons?? Probably switch to Joan of Arcadia... Oh how I miss you Joan! Stupid CBS.... RAWR

I can't wait for this quarter to end.

So... mel (aka emo mime) told me update... and I will. with RANDOMNESS! I dunno... :T

I ate so much today... SPICY WONTONS!!!! <33333 love it! and also soondooboo~ eating frenzy today :9

I've been having depressing dreams lately. I don't know where's it's coming from, since there's not much to be sad about... well, I don't know, but when you start dreaming about the end of the world (fiery balls of meteorite btw), you have to wonder what your mind is trying to say. Probably that I should have lots of water and canned food ready for emergency, I think.

I was just thinking how short life is. You never really experience until you find out that time passes by so quickly. If I was like the guy in The Time Traveler's Wife, I would probably want to pop in to visit my younger self to use my time more wisely. And also give stock tips. I could really use that. I don't know about invention ideas, because that would probably change history. :/ but man, I could really get back at people who deserve it, if I could travel in time... >:D ...or like attend all the classes I missed... (I'm not a nerd; I just can't undo the asian "good student guidelines" ingrained in me ).

So I will be working out regularly this quarter. The goal is to go every week, M-F, but we'll see how well that works out. I want to lose as much fat as I possibly can... yay....

If I survive this quarter, I will be amazed... because right now... I have 3 classes, 2 jobs, and an internship (I guess that could be like 3 jobs total :T) Busy from 9-9. wheeeee. Therefore, I will enjoy my free time right now by ending this entry and going back to mindless web surfing. Ciao!

So I started my internship today. Hopefully my paperwork gets through for the unit credit... otherwise I will be sad

The PERKS! hehe~ free breakfast and lunch! I had lunch today and damn, they know how to make their scalloped potatoes. SOOO GOOD! And then something about free screenings every other week, and parties... that's all I remember...

I know something Mel would like though. I walk into the kitchen in my department, and there are baskets of snacks. In one of those baskets, I see... PEARS! The brown ones! Hahaha~ >:D

So I'm guessing my internship will pay me in food. HEHEHE~ Well, I'll just eat alot to compensate for my hours, I guess.... They warned me about Intern 15, haha~

I WANNA WORK HERE!

I don't want school to start.
Everything is going by way too fast and I just don't know what happens afterwards.

After college ends.
I just want to live peacefully.